Sunday 23 July 2023

Parody

 The other day, for the first time in a very long time, I heard the Barbie Song. So, being me, I decided to write a parody. Hope you like it!


Hiya, Alianore!

Hi, Roger!

Ready to go to Mass?

Sure!

Come on then!


I’m a Yorkist girl, in a Yorkist world,

We haven’t any plastic, it’s fantastic.

Never any stress, three girls to help me dress,

You have to know your station; it’s that kind of nation.


Come on Alianore! Let’s get to chapel!


Pregnant every year, no obstetric care,

Grit your teeth and pray, you know it’s just God’s way.

To work I need not go; just sit at home and sew.

Life’s not so very pleasant, but better than a peasant’s.


I have to hide my hair, or I might as well be bare.

Shave my forehead clean, naked as a bean.

It’s plucking that I hate, makes me so irate.

But it’s all the fashion, it has to be my passion.


My lord has all the cash. I cannot make a splash.

Life can oft be funny, I still don’t have no money!

At least he treats me well. No bruises you can tell.

It could be ten times worse, I could be on a hearse.


Come on Alianore, let’s go to Middleham!


Middleham is freezing; I am always sneezing.

I wait upon the Duchess, nothing there can touch us.

I can brush her hair, kneel before her chair.

It’s a super job; I’m part of Richard’s ‘blob’.


I’m a Yorkist girl, in a Yorkist world,

We haven’t any plastic, it’s fantastic.

Never any stress, three girls to help me dress,

You have to know your station; it’s that kind of nation.


Come on Alianore! Let’s ride up Coverdale!

Oh, I can’t wait, Roger!




Tuesday 18 July 2023

The Mists of Middleham

 My second Alianore Audley book, The Mists of Middleham, is now available from Amazon. Be aware that this is not conventional historical fiction. Those of you who have read The Adventures of Alianore Audley will have some idea of what it's like, but this book goes further into strange realms so to speak. Alianore meets Robin Hood, King Arthur and the Black Dog of Hergest. To say nothing of Lady Crystal Plantagenet.

Back in the real world, Hanley Castle, the second book in the Constance of York series, has been out there for some time. I am busy with the third book, provisionally titled The Downfall of Our House. Progress is slow due to a variety of factors - I have a life apart from writing. However, I shall get there.

Tuesday 3 May 2022

More Progress on Books

 I am pleased to say that I am more than 60% on with the second book in the Walking Among Lions series, and I expect to see it finished and out there by December 2022 at the latest. The working title is Hanley Castle but there is a chance that might change. Anyway, keep looking out for it. 

This will pretty well complete Constance's story when coupled with Within the Fetterlock. However, that novel is now 'hard to find' and also I have found out some new facts; I am conscious of some errors, and I now interpret the political situation slightly differently. Some of this will show up in Hanley Castle, but I have decided that a third volume in the same style is necessary to complete Constance's story.  This has a working title of The Downfall of Our House and I hope to have it out in 2023.

The second Alianore book, The Mists of Middleham is next up. It is very largely finished, just needs a certain amount of work, mainly polishing. It will be finalised once the third Constance book is out, and again I hope this will be in 2023.

Wednesday 27 April 2022

The long promised Constance Prequel

 Here we are.


Walking Among Lions is the first of a trilogy about Constance of York. It was first conceived as a prequel to Within the Fetterlock. (A draft title was This New Spring of Time but my friends changed my mind.)

As Within the Fetterlock is now 'hard to find' and my understanding of the politics and certain facts have changed, I have now decided to go the whole hog, so the trilogy will cover her whole life.



I just wanted to mention that a new paperback version of The Adventures of Alianore Audley is now available from Amazon, with a prettier cover and some improvements to the text.
A revised kindle version is to be had too, at a slightly lower price, and a hardback version should soon appear too! (For those who like their books to be reassuringly expensive.)
In case anyone is unfamiliar with Alianore I should stress this is a light-hearted book, not meant to be taken too seriously.